Lifestyle Arbitrage

Open Letter to Danger

February 21st, 2009 Posted in General Thoughts

So-  It’s been over a year since D-Lab posted here - and a lot has happened… so a real quick summary.  Everyone graduated from business school.  Tank convinced some hot chic to move with him to Chicago where he has been working for a large energy conglomerate, Hoff moved to Munich to renovate his fathers house and send resumes around Europe, Danger moved to London to work for a large real estate private equity group, and I’ve been in New York trying to boot strap a custom clothing company.

Although physically separated, DLAB is in many ways still together. The lessons of life continue to baffle us though.  It recently came to our attention that Danger may have lost his way.  For several months, he has not had a single story worth sharing - the following letter is for him.

TO: The man formerly known as “Danger”

FR: Coach Seth

Danger Victim Nice Guy,

I have thoughts about your current situation.  It’s in my nature to try and help.  Even if said help only does more damage.  But I’m usually right - as verified recently by Tank’s doctor (see - yoga does NOT burn calories!).

If DLAB had a charter - I think it would go something like this:

To avoid mediocrity and tirelessly strive for either massive success or massive failure in the following areas of life:
Professional Achievement
, Physical Fitness, Sexual Conquest (or at least one - cause life get’s busy…

So - What the hell is going on out there?  What went wrong?  Are you depressed?  Why are you letting this happen?  (Shhhh - these are rhetorical)

Ten facts:

  1. You are a handsome man.
  2. You are charismatic
  3. You are smart.
  4. You are in the prime of your life.
  5. You have a respectable job.
  6. You make good money.
  7. You have a hot girlfriend.
  8. Your parents love you.
  9. You live in a cool city.
  10. You’re fucking Danger!

SO!  WTF?!? Why are you feeling sorry for yourself?  Getting fat watching television?  Boring, predictable couples dinner conversation?  That shit will make you impotent!  You must take action!

I’d suggest one or all of the following:

  • Take on way more than you can handle at (large unnamed PE firm), work 18 hours a day and make a real name for yourself quick -or get fired in flames
  • Join an intramural sports team (football, rugby, cricket, wtv)
  • Dedicate at least one night a week where you go out to the pub with guys from work/building/not-b-school people sans-girl friend
  • Cancel your cable television and sell your lazy-boy
  • Set a physical challenge - marathon, climb the Matterhorn, swim the channel, something hard
  • Network (, take business cards, follow up, meet for lunch
  • Drink more coffee and more beer

BTW - this talk would be a lot more effective with shots of Tequila at Unico and, if necessary, that will be arranged.



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